April 07, 2015

What Could of Been

What Could of Been
Written by: TheGlitched64


2005 Started out a year like any other. It was going to be my last week where I worked as I was getting tired of it and wanted to move on. Sometime early on in the schooling year, around April or May, I was on my usual bus route to work. I had a 7am start today and it takes me 3 hours to get to work so as you can imagine I could barely keep my eyes open and the container of iced coffee from slipping out of my hand. I was a very shy and introverted man usually, so I would always sit in a spot where I had the least amount of chance of any human contact, which happened to be the front of the bus. As the bus headed to our stop, our rather incompetent driver, opened the doors as I stepped out. However, not 10 seconds after we stopped and the person behind me was getting off, the bus lurched forward, causing the person to lose footing and almost slam into the pavement. Now… usually I am the type of person who would stand there and act like this was happening in a world around me that I wasn’t playing apart in, but being tired on the verge of being zombie like, those thoughts went away and I reached out to grab the person as they fell. In the back I could hear people shout at the bus driver but, again, thanks to my tiredness, I could only focus on one thing, and that was the person who I am pretty sure I saved from a pretty nasty dentist bill. Snapping back to reality I let her go as soon as possible not to seem weird. I asked if she was alright to which she kinda stood there, staring at me before replying with a shaky “Yeah… I’m alright…” She stared at the top left of my shirt where my company’s logo was printed. “Hey… are you going to ITC to?” ITC was the abbreviated name of the Company I worked at (Keeping it abbreviated for several reasons.) “Um, yeah… almost late to my shift but… Yeah.” She looked up at me. “Hey! Me too. You uh… wanna walk there with me?” I stood there for a second, almost getting pushed down by some asshole still making his way out of the bus. “Yeah, sure. What’s your name?”
“Allison.” She replied.
“Jack.” I replied back. Nice to meet you.


            It was the first time I was glad that the closest bus stop to our work was a five-ten minute walk away. It turned out that she was just starting out there, so we agreed to wait while we both got off work so we could catch the same bus home. Twice a week we ended up on the bus back and forth to work and eventually spent time talking on the phone or IM together. I had decided to stay at work so I could spend more time with her and I mean, hey, extra money is always nice, right? This went on for about 3 months, when unfortunately the firm of the company we worked at was going bust, forcing unpaid vacation on all its employees for almost a year. On the walk back to the bus I worked through my nerves and asked if she wanted to do something together outside of work as more than just friends. She stopped walking for a second. Feeling like I blew it, I began to apologize, but was stopped by her coming up to me and hugging me. Ever since that day we were a couple. Two years later, the firm was replaced with a competitor and they gave me my job back. That is when we got engaged, moved in together and married. Life wasn’t great, but it was bearable. We didn’t have much money, so, the house wasn’t too big, but it was ours. I finally got my licence to, and learned how to drive, so I could do more things and get home to her quicker.
            It also turned out that… as ashamed as I am to admit it, I was sterile, so, Allison could never have the daughter she wanted… but she didn’t love me any less. We still spent all our time together when I wasn’t at work. We got a dog instead and we seemed like a happy, functioning family. I was very happy and content with my life, and could happily stay like this forever.


            However in 2014, I stupidly forgot to go shopping on my way home, so, we had to head out, in rush hour traffic to the store. It was an absolute clusterfuck of cars in the carpark doing all sorts of illegal turns, not waiting for pedestrians or following round-a-bout island laws etc. As we were driving back from shopping, a car cut us off, and I accidently spun the car into a tree. My wife and I both died in a car crash on that day… thanks to me…


            As I woke up, I was in a completely black void, save for a speck of light far away. People always say move towards the light, so I did, expecting some great, beyond our comprehension thing to be just on the other side of that light. But instead, as I got to it, I saw that it was a movie projector. One of those older ones from the 60s or 70s… but the screen was as white as any modern day movie theatre projector. As I got closer to it, I stumbled and hit my shin on a black/dark blue chair. Seeing nothing else to do, I sat on it, and as I did, the projector whirred into action and the movie began to play. It was titled “What could have been.”


            It began on that day on the bus back over 9 years ago. Although this time, it looked like I had gotten the best damn night sleep of my life because I was roaring with energy. Soon as that bus stop was in sight I stood up and at the door, and rushed out to work as it opened, excited to get that last pay check and tell them to stick the next one somewhere tight. The movie stayed on Allison though. Who tripped and fell hard on the concrete without me there to catch her. I flinched at this, but it was nothing compared to what it showed me next.


            It showed me Allison talking to her boss on her first day. She had told me years later she got her roster switched to coincide with mine as often as possible. But, I guess, in this scenario, she never did, and instead, began working the shifts she was initially supposed to.


            Then next scene was Allison about 2 months later, according to the title card in this bizarre little movie, and she had met someone else at ITC. The movie continued to show me them leaving together after the company went bust, him getting a much better paying job before the new company bought back some of the old workers, getting a huge house where seven people were staying. Two couples two other guys and another girl, all of these people seemed the best of friends. It continued to show her having her first child, a son, and her second child, the daughter she so desired. Them growing up, the roommates also having their children, playing together, her life being so happy and care free… it really was like something out of a movie. It cut to 2014, the day of the crash, and there she was, sitting there, looking at it on the news. She didn’t really recognise me when they showed the picture of me on the news. She went about her day, happy and carefree. She lived to be 70 years old where she then died of liver failure. This movie was here to show me… how much better her life would have been without me… my… existing… ruined and ended this girls life… The projector shut off and I was left in total blackness. I must have been sitting here for hours upon days contemplating what could have been… What could have been…

This is part one of a three part story. For the next part, clicky here: [Coming Soon… I hope]